There is one who first showed me what love meant.....He was also the one that showed that in His heart I was first in his heart........He is ever there when I need him......He forever understands me even when I can hardly understand myself.....He also changes not even when I forget to make time for him or show how important he and his love is for me......How could he not be my first Love?
Thank you Lord for accepting me for who I am and loving me in spite of my flaws and falling short.......I am alive because of you, I am who I am because of you and today I rest in your love and return to you a heart full of love and praise not because you demand it but because you first loved me.........I Love you Lord!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
First Love
First Love
There are a lot of things in this life that are important to me. There are a lot of people that I care about. Although I have many loves in this life.....none compare with the first Love in my life.When I say first love I do not refer to the first time in my life I fell in love or had a crush. I refer to the first time in my life I really understood what Love really was. This was revealed to me through the Holy Spirit as he revealed God's great Love for me. Since, this love has taken priority in my life; as my first love....the most important because, God is love and from God my love flows....and when I lose my focus or devotion to this first love, it too affects all of my other loves.....from the love I have for myself which in turn affects the loves I have for others.....
Lord help me to maintain my connection to you my true source of love....may your love flow to me and through me....help me to understand that there are many things I enjoy in life that are blessings, however none can compare to my first Love I have in you......AMEN
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Reconnection
Reconnection
Recently I was preparing for a service in which I am ministering Holy Communion. As I was thinking about what Communion is, and how for many it is a first step at reconnecting with the church and their Savior, I began to look at how I have reconnected in my journey.
Faith and ministry has always been a major part of my life but when I acknowledged my sexuality for the first time, unfortunately I was still living from an unhealthy false belief system that taught me that God would not accept me, and church would no longer be a part of my life. I went from loving everything that related to church and God to being unable to be around or discuss it. Christian music, the Bible, church and Communion all were out of my life...so I thought.
However almost one year exactly after coming out to myself, I attended my first MCC service, and although my attendance was very erratic and uncomfortable this was my first step to reconnect with God and the Church. However it also set me on a journey of trying to come to terms with scripture and I began to read and study everything I could get my hands on.
I remember not partaking of Communion during those early visits to the church, but then eventually I felt Christ was inviting me to and I took those first steps and found a reconnection to my faith and from here I began to be reconnected to all the things I thought I had lost as well as many others I didn't know were available to me. So not only reconnection but connection to a new faith and experience as well.
I now find myself loving Christian music, my love for scripture has also returned....I am reconnected....you see Christ invites us to connect to God through Himself...He states...." I am the Vine you are the branches.....In me you will have Life and Life abundant......
Faith and Spirituality is about connecting with ourselves and with God and with each other and through this connection finding a rich vibrant life that far surpasses anything you can find anywhere.
It is so simple and religion has attepted to make it so difficult...simply take a step to connect with God and the rest will follow........ways to take a step....pray, communion, meditate, sing....just reach out....God's hand is reaching to you already.....
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